


Cogito ergo sum

by MarchOrionMathis



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Android!Mello, Fluff, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, android sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-05 16:36:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1825168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarchOrionMathis/pseuds/MarchOrionMathis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Near is a child genius who holds the shop while the legendary AI programmer L is off to work for his many mysterious customers. While L builds robots and programs for the military, the police, or very wealthy and anonymous clients, Near handles the day-to-day problems of their less difficult and less secretive customers. Bored out of his mind, he eventually starts gathering left-over parts from his clients' androids, intent on building a robot of his own, a robot perfect enough to impress L. He takes on the greatest challenge any programmer could think of : to create from scratch an android as human as possible. </p><p>Or, Mello is a robot, and Near watches and helps him grow into a person, little by little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birth

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I have ever written in english, and it isn't my native language, so I apologize for any mistake / clumsiness / general lack of vocabulary. If anyone would like to beta my chapters for me, I would be eternally grateful. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING : This work may contain some light dubcon in future chapters, because androids cannot fully consent to sex in this AU due to their programming. Nothing of the sort between Mello and Near, though, and future chapters will have appropriate warnings. There might also be some violence. Again, I will tag and warn accordingly. 
> 
> Also I don't know if I should point this out or not, but Mello being extremely OOC at first is intentional, and it'll change in a few chapters (well, at least I hope I'll be able to make him more Mello-like). I just thought I'd put this here so nobody gets confused by his politeness and general lack of Near-bashing.

**8 May, year 44-648**

My hands are trembling when I raise them to the back of its – no, his – head. I press a finger to the small switch there, count to ten, and flip it on. The various systems already installed make no noise as they power up, of course, my creations are much too high-quality for that, but the artificial skin under my fingers warms up little by little.

I draw back my hand and stand a few steps from Mello. His blue eyes are still vacant, and what small parts of his body I gave him control over do not move. Have I made a mistake somewhere ?

I wait a few more seconds, holding my breath, fingers toying with the hem of my white shirt. Eventually, Mello's eyes narrow ever-so-slightly, and they move a little, taking in the workshop he has been built in. I follow his eyes to the door, the twelve computers sitting on a table behind me, the various robotic parts lying on the floor. He looks down at his incomplete body, then back up, and settles his gaze on me.

« Your name is Mello, » I tell him, because it seems like a good place to start. He doesn't react at all. « You may call me Near. I am the one who built you. » His eyes narrow a bit more at that. Androids are usually built with a purpose, rooted deep into their programming from the moment they wake, but I didn't give Mello any of that. He is an experiment, and his sole purpose is for me to observe him, to make him perfect, hopefully before L's next return.

« What will I be used for ? » he asks after a short silence. I hesitate for a brief moment. He is nowhere near complete : I built his head almost completely to give him the ability to speak and use most of the five human senses, but he has no arms, and his torso ends a little below his nipples, wires and cables hanging out of him. His programming contains the barebones of an artificial intelligence, and I added, for practicality, an extensive databank about the theories and history of robot-building, as well as basic informations about human life and customs.

« You are an experiment. » I look at his expression, but he doesn't really seem fazed by what I just told him. « This is the first time I activated you, to check your basic functions. I will continue to work on completing you, activating you from time to time to study your reactions to every modification I make. »

« Why not complete me straight away ? » His voice is bland and emotionless. I know what he is truly asking. Most androids are built with an artificial intelligence, databases and several restrictions geared towards their purpose, and they are only activated after delivery, by the custommer. Even prototypes are built completely before they are thoroughly tested, and remade from scratch if anything goes wrong. Artificial intelligences being activated before completion are unheard of, and not strictly legal.

As a result, post-release modifications are always needed and handled by people like me, who remove anything inconvenient from the robot's programming, and add anything lacking. By law, only completely safe androids are allowed to be commercialized, or used in a public setting. If an android, at any point, shows any sign of being dangerous or detrimental to its environment, an undeletable part of its core programming will shut down and turn off most of its functions. Mello knows this as well as I do. 

But I did not implement in Mello any kind of safety measure that might interfere with his developpment. Because pre-built artificial intelligences always come with a variety of safety protocols, I had to program him from scratch.

« Once you are complete, I will not turn you off again, » I tell him, observing with some sort of satisfaction as his jaw slackens and his eyes widen a little in surprise. Most robots are brought to shops like mine at least once or twice a year to delete specific memories and correct their behavior. While it makes them more efficient, doing it to Mello would reset or at least significantly hinder his personnal growth.

« Furthermore, » I add, « I will not remove anything from your programming, no matter the consequences. Do you understand ? »

He nods. I may not have programmed Mello with any kind of safety, but, as insurance, I added to his self-awareness programs a few pages of code designed to make him believe that he will shut down automatically if he ever becomes violent.

« Well then. » I turn to the row of computers behind me and enter a command, turning on the camera hanging from the ceilling. Mello looks at it for a moment, then back at me, visibly nervous.

« Can you try to move your head ? » I ask. He complies and twists his neck around tentatively at first, then more brutally, eventually banging the back of his head against the metallic railing keeping him in place.

« Careful now, » I say, frowning. « You do not have any pain sensors, but I would like to keep your body as undamaged as possible. Please try to move your face, now. » He makes a series of expressions, ranging from fear and pain to joy and relief. He visibly has conscious access to the physical manifestation of the full range of emotions his programming allows him to express. I make a mental note of changing that so he won't be able to fake everything so well or hide what he feels as much. Not only could it give him the upper hand on me, it would also be detrimental to my research if I could not read him accurately.

« What to you know of your programming ? » I ask eventually, when he his done exploring and demonstrating the very limited range of motions allowed by his current body.

« I know how to build a robot, » he answers almost immediately, most likely because it is the largest and most complete database he has. « I know how humans live, although that knowledges appears incomplete at best. I know I have a core programming designed to replicate human emotions and understand them. I know that compared to other androids, I lack purpose, restraints, and I do not seem to have been programmed with an instinct to follow orders. » He pauses, a puzzled look on his face, then speaks again, his blue eyes staring at me intently. « I also know I have a hidden security system that will blank all my programs if I start to show signs of violence. » 

« Very good, » I tell him, allowing myself a satisfied smile. Not only did I make him smart and perceptive enough to notice a code hidden deep inside his core programming, I also apparently succeeded in tricking him with my fac-simile of a security program. He watches me carefully, a proud look on his face, and I circle around him to turn him off and hide my expression. I don't know how well he can read human microexpressions, and I certainly don't need him to pick up on the fact that I hoped for him to notice the hidden bit of code. 

I press my fingers to his nape, taking a moment to register the way he stiffens slightly at my touch. His sensors seem to work just fine, which is good. I flip off the switch keeping him conscious, and proceed to archive the first recorded video of my new creation.

 


	2. First cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for how long it took me to post this. To be honest, this chapter was finished as soon as I posted the first one, but I've been very busy so it took me a while to re-read everything. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING : There is very light dub-con in this chapter (of the above-the-waist, non-sexual kind). I honestly didn't know if I should put a warning since nothing sexual happens, but better safe than sorry, I guess.

**11 May, year 44-648**

Mello activates much more quickly this time. It took me quite a while to program and give him a few key aspects of human psychology, things that no artificial intelligence is normally programmed with. He still misses some important parts of what constitutes the core programming of your everyday android, but I can always add that later. For now, I am delving into the forbidden realm of entirely prototypal programs. The smallest misstep here could break him or render him unusable for future experiments, and I would have to redo Mello from scratch. It is as exciting as it is dangerous, and I must say, I have never spent so many sleepless nights on a project.

« Can you tell what I changed from last time ? » I ask him as soon as I see his eyes darting around the room. Mello tries to move, but only his head is functionnal right now, and a grimace of frustration slowly grows on his face. The structure behind and under him just serves to keep him upright, but since I didn't work on his body at all since last time, he cannot move from the neck down. A human being would percieve that as being restrained, but it would not be a problem for a normal android, as they have no concept of body integrity.

« No. » His voice is cold. He looks pensive for a moment then adds, « you made me unable to fake emotions well. »

« I did, » I answer, nodding. « It would be problematic for my experiments. » He looks surprised, almost offended for a few seconds, then goes back to a frustrated, slightly angry expression. He seems much more dominated by emotions than the last time, and so far, it looks like I succeeded in programming a perfectly human-like need for control over his own body. Still, it needs confirmation, and I might have to rile him up a little more. I briefly consider telling him I will remove things from his programming to test his reaction, but the tactic is far too obvious. I programmed him smart ; he will see right through it.

And besides, I barely slept through the past three nights, busy as I was working on him. I should, at the very least, have some fun with what I built. Right ?

So, instead of trying to find something to say that would be offensive enough to trigger an emotional response, I decide to step closer and run a hand from his collarbone to the middle of his chest, my thumb tracing the line where his body ends.

« Can you feel that ? » I ask, intently watching his face for the slightest change in expression.

« No. » The answer is short and to the point. He looks disinterested in what I am doing, and that simply won't do. I shift my index and middle finger towards his right nipple, and, I admit, it takes a certain amount of effort for me not to blush at the soft contact.

This is not a real body, I try to tell myself. Very attractive by my personal standards, since I built him that way, but not a real body. And this is purely for scientific purposes ; there is no cause for embarrassment. I rub my thumb over his nipple, searching for other ways to taunt him. Other than perhaps his lips, this is the most intimate area his incomplete body has, and touching his mouth might end with him biting me, since he can actually move, up there.

I also have to admit that the idea of Mello not being helpless under my touch anymore is too intimidating for me to consider trying it out. He technically has much more knowledge of physical contact or sex than I do, after all. I am starting to think that perhaps I shouldn't be doing this at all.

« May I ask what you are doing ? »

His voice surprises me as I am about to draw back my hand. I stopped paying attention, but he looks significantly more irritated now, his icy blue eyes apparently trying to pierce a hole into my head out of sheer willpower. I suppress a little smile of triumph as best as I can.

Now, that's more like it.

« Touching you, » I answer as blandly as possible. I keep an overall calm expression, put allow a little smile to spread on my lips, hoping it will infuriate him.

« May I ask why ? » His voice is still calm, but now he stares at my hand as if he could will away my touch somehow.

« Do I need a reason ? » I ask back while pressing my palm to the middle of his chest, digging the pulp of my fingers into his artificial skin. He is pleasantly warm, and soft to the touch, but I don't feel like blusing anymore. I am too focused on keeping the upper hand to analyse what I am doing in an intimate way.

We are both too subtle to point it out, but I know he understands the meaning of my words perfectly. He is my creation, therefore I own him, therefore he cannot deny me any part of himself, including his physical body. Especially not in his current state. If I were a more emotional person, I suppose I would have felt at least a little guilty about this, or disgusted by the way Mello tries to crane his neck away from me, as if hoping that the rest of his body could follow.

Instead, I find this all very satisfying. Not in a sexual way, of course, but it pleases me to know that I programmed him correctly, and I like how easily I can manipulate him. I bring my fingers up his shoulder, on the side of his neck, and stop just before the line of his jaw. His skin is much softer than a human's, but then again, androids are built to represent perfection, are they not ? I raise my other hand and card my fingers through his blond hair, and he violently jerks his head to the side, away from my touch.

« Stop ! »

He looks surprised by his own outburst. Androids are typically programmed in a way that will not allow them to go against their owner's wishes, and he is well aware of that fact. He stares in the distance, wide-eyed and visibly afraid of what he just did. I withdraw my hands and step away from him, waiting until he regains his calm.

« What were you trying to do ? » he asks, eyeing me with suspicion.

« I was just making sure of something. »

« Are you going to do that again ? » He looks positively revulsed. I can't say I blame him ; being completely at the mercy of someone you know nothing about must be unsettling. Not to mention what I just did to him, it would have made any human feel violated.

« That won't be necessary. » I have to placate him somehow. Knowing that he doesn't enjoy a forced and foreign touch is good ; it is precisely what I wanted from him. But I also need to make him understand why it was necessary, and why making him as human as possible will fatally require testing his ability to process negative emotions.

« I programmed you so would naturally want to have control over your own body and make any decision related to it yourself, » I explain, fully aware of the irony of telling this to a being mostly unable to move. « I needed to test your reaction to someone else taking that control away from you, and intimate touch seemed like the best option. » It bothers me on some level to explain my thought process to someone else, especially to a being as intelligent as him, but this is necessary.

« Why didn't you just ask ? »

« I needed to make sure your emotions are programmed correctly. Besides, telling you in advance would have had counter-productive results. »

Mello just nods. He looks at me with slightly curious eyes, and it feels weirdly intimate to share this experiment with another person, even if he isn't really a person, even if he is the subject of said experiment. The way he just stares ahead, anger and shock completely forgotten, is a little unnerving, but I don't think there is any fault in his programming just yet. He is just very adept at handling his own emotions, and he understands well enough why an endeavor as ambitious as building him requires sacrifices.

In other words, he understands me. Or rather, we think alike.

I walk to a table on the side of the workshop, trailing my hand along spare parts I kept aside for him. I make a mental note to call Matt sometime soon, to give Mello a new body to observe and play with. It will be much easier to test his emotions and observe his growth if he has control over a full body.

But for now, there isn't much growth to observe. Mello and I think mostly alike. Not only that, but we also have the same manner of speech, and even our voices are similar, his being nothing more than an artificial and more mature rendering of my own. I glance at his detached expression. So much like my own. Patient, clinical, unaffected by everything, detached from the world around and protected by a thick layer of analysis and intellect.

I certainly did not start all this just so I could create a taller, blonder replica of myself.

« Very well, » I say with a sigh, just a little disappointed by this unexpected setback. « That will be all for today. » I walk behind him to deactivate him, and he tenses very noticeably this time, trying to draw his neck away from my hand. I stop moving, knowing he has good enough hearing to notice I am now immobile, and he relaxes a little.

« What is it ? » I ask while walking back to where he can see me. He turns his head to the side. He seems conflicted about something, and I hope it is what I think it is, but at this stage, it would be a mistake to draw too many conclusions about his thought process.

« I will not touch you again like before, » I tell him, because it's the truth and he needs to know, if it still bothers him, that I have no intention of taking again something he doesn't want to offer, unless absolutely necessary.

« Will you turn me back on ? » he suddenly blurts out. I smile in barely-disguised triumph. I did it. L would be proud if he came back just now ; out of the two major components I designed from scratch for Mello, both his need for control and his survival instinct work perfectly so far. This alone is something nobody managed to accomplish. Or rather, something nobody dared to build. Not to mention this is highly illegal, but L does not mind much, and I do not care at all.

« Of course I will. You are nowhere near complete. » He stays silent for a while, then frowns. His newly discovered instincts must be at war with everything he has learned about artificial intelligences so far, and his reluctance to admit his fears most likely means he is afraid of how atypical he has become.

« Would it be possible for you to work on me without turning me off ? » he asks in a subdued voice. I have to think for a moment. It doesn't seem like a bad idea at first. Being able to ask Mello for his opinion on details of his development would definitely be useful, and it would give him back some sense of control in an otherwise distressing environment.

« I would still have to turn you off for updates, » I warn him, trying to picture the consequences of letting an android like Mello assist to his own construction. It seems very risky, more dangerous than all the risks I have already taken with him, much more likely to destroy him. The costs far outweights the benefits this time, but on the other hand, taking a gamble on something like that could potentially bring formidable results.

« I will have to turn you off anyway, » I tell him again, taking a few steps towards him. The decision is hard to make, but I'd rather not risk letting him switched on in the workshop for hours on end without any kind of supervision. He goes rigid, his reaction much more intense now that he knows what he fears. Death.

« I will turn you back on as soon as the necessary updates have been made. » I tell him in a calm, clear voice. I pause for a few seconds, twirling a lock of my hair between my fingers, letting him time to adjust and control the fear. « And if I ever decide not to start you up again, I will warn you beforehand. Not that I plan on anything like that happening. »

I get closer to him, lying my hand flat against the side of his neck, index poised against the switch.

« What if you make a mistake ? » he asks, biting his lower lip, eyes wide and staring at the arm sneaking around his neck. « What if I become unusable and you have to destroy me ? » I sigh, take back my hand, and lower my head, avoiding his eyes. I have always been incredibly bad at dealing with other people's emotions, and it seems even androids can make me feel inadequate. I can recognize emotions well enough, but it is more a consequence of my high observation skills than real empathy. I can understand, theorically, what Mello feels and fear, but it isn't something I have ever experienced myself. Fear isn't something I know. It has no place in a white and clean life like mine.

« Mello, » I start, looking up at him from under white bangs. « If I lost you... » I stop, not sure what to say. « I have been planning for this for a long time, » I try again with a frown, raising my head to look more properly into his eyes. « I have spent years accumulating ressources, programming, and finding associates capable enough who wouldn't mind helping with something not strictly legal. Loosing you would mean starting from scratch. Therefore, no matter the consequences, it is highly unlikely that I turn you off. » I pause before adding, « to be honest, the only reason I am turning you off for now is that I hardly think leaving you alone for days in the workshop, unable to move or do anything but think, would be a wise choice. I have no idea how emotionally stable you are, therefore it is best if we limit your functionning time to short periods for now. »

Mello nods slowly. He still looks a bit unsure, and the way he acts, like a frightened little animal, both amuses and disappoints me. There is still a long way to go. I stand on my tip-toes, to reach his nape from where I am, and slowly touch the skin near his switch, as a warning sign that I will deactivate him soon.

He does not panic this time.

« You should know something else, » I tell him, my mouth practically forced against the skin under his shoulder so I can reach his switch despite our size difference. « I am almost never wrong. And I don't plan on making any mistake with you. » I lift my eyes to look at him, and again, he just nods, understanding.

« Well then, » I mutter against his skin, a little disappointed but already planning what I will add to him next. « Good night. » Dear Mello, you are too calm for my liking, and I am afraid I will have to make you a bit more feisty. But worry not, by the time you awake, it will already have changed. 

 


End file.
